Jake's Birth Story - Retold

I still remember vividly the morning I went into labor.  At about 5 am on January 7, 2011 I got up to use the restroom and realized that my water broke.  I went into the guest room where Chris was sleeping (my pregnancy snoring had become unbearable for him) and calmly told him, "It's time to go!"  Our hospital bags had been packed already so we did not scramble that much on the way to the hospital.  I still recall sitting in the front seat of my car, amniotic fluid continuing to leak out.  We had called the hospital to inform them that we were on our way and called our parents to tell them that Jake was coming.  Chris dropped me off at the hospital entrance and I walked to the maternity ward.  I was admitted immediately and it seemed like I was asked a thousand questions, for which I was not in the mood.  We pre-registered beforehand but there was still a lot of paperwork that needed to be completed.  I remember getting extremely irritated and almost hostile to the admitting nurse, Helen, because the last thing I wanted was to be bombarded with questions.  Funny, I don't remember now the feeling of being in labor...I know it was not pleasant but that's about it.  I remember getting the epidural relatively early (3 or 4 cm I believe) and being in heaven after that.

As the day progressed, the nurses kept checking on me and we all thought I would have Jake by lunch time.  I got a fever somehow and had the chills the whole day.  I kept passing BM's too...I must have eliminated everything that I ate for the past two days!  My OB-GYN arrived in the early afternoon and I remember she reached in to "turn" Jake and more water came out of me.  By 6:00 pm I was 9.5 cm dilated so it was decided that it was time for me to push.  So I pushed. And pushed. For 15 minutes...30...45...60.  No Jake.  I was turned sideways and pushed.  Still nothing.  By 7:15 pm or so I began to lose hope that my son was going to be delivered the normal way.  I remember the nurses and doctor leaving me, Chris, and my mom in the delivery room BY OURSELVES in the middle of me pushing.  By 8:00 pm it was pretty clear that I was going to have to have a C-section.  I cried.  It wasn't the way things were supposed to be.  A C-section was the last thing I wanted.  I had endured many things in my life, gotten everything I wanted in life at that point, so to have a C-section made me feel like a quitter.  And not even by choice.  I was devastated, but what could I do- I wanted my baby to be safe.  I know now to choose wisely when it comes to hospitals and labor and delivery staff. 

It wasn't until 9:00 pm that I was taken to the operating room.  The operating staff had to be paged so none of them arrived until that time.  I remember lying on that operating table.  Them telling me that I was going to feel a lot of tugging.  I remember having the oxygen mask on me and seriously feeling like I was going to run out of air and die.  It was the scariest feeling for me to kind of hear what was going on around me but be paralyzed from the neck down.  I was cold and shivering inside.  My thumbs kept twitching.  I was sure that they would see me and help me, but I kept shivering and feeling like I was running out of air.  All the while I kept thinking in my head, "This is terrible...this is not the way I wanted it to be...we are not having our second child here..." But most importantly, I just wanted to hear my baby cry.  To know that he was OK.  But I never heard his cry.  I was in and out of consciousness and I remember Chris crying and saying "Our baby is so beautiful" in my ear.  I learned later that Jake came out blue and unresponsive.  He had started to swallow his meconium because he was in distress, after all that pushing and time waiting for the C-section to begin.  I remember being in the recovery room and Chris going in there to explain what was happening.  Our baby was going to be taken to Queen of the Valley NICU.  I was going to stay at San Dimas Hospital.  I briefly saw Jake before he was taken away in the ambulance.  I was so drugged up that I couldn't even get my eyes to focus.  "Focus!" I told my eyes, "Look at your son!"  And then, he was gone.

I didn't really know how to feel.  I will never forget the faces of my good friends, Jen, Kim, Brian, and Kristin, in the hallway as I was wheeled back into my hospital room.  I waved hello to them and expressed how happy and grateful I was to see them as I rolled by on the bed, in my drugged state.  I remember seeing my brother Joe's face as I was wheeled into the operating room an hour before that.  Our parents were there, waiting for their first/ninth grandson to arrive.  Little did they know that was going to be one of the scariest nights of their lives...the thought of losing me or the baby.  And of course, my poor husband had to go through it all...seeing me on the operating table, half awake and complaining of pain...his first born son blue and unresponsive...having to notify my parents and everyone who was in the lobby what was happening...

It was not the ideal birth story.  I did not want to talk to nor see anybody that entire weekend.  I did not care to announce Jake's birth because HE WAS NOT THERE.  I did not get to experience holding him and learning to nurse him and bathe him in the hospital.  It was horrible.  There are so many other details that go into this story but I cannot possibly include them all.  So many emotions were felt that weekend while I was in the hospital: relief, anger, disappointment.  So many questions: why did we choose that hospital, etc. etc.  The reality is that it is easier to point fingers when things go wrong.  I gave birth at that hospital because that was where my OB-Gyn, who I had been seeing for two years, was designated to deliver.  We knew that they did not have a NICU.  We did not know that we would need a NICU (who does???)  The only thing we can do is to hopefully do things differently the next time around.  And when will that be, you ask.  When I feel ready.  That's when.  When I know where I am going to be next year.  When I feel that the addition of a second child will not break me.  When I get my doctorate.  When I get a job.  When the time is right.  I really cannot say when.  All I know is that I enjoy having only my one-year-old son right now.

Jake has been a strong boy from the beginning of his life.  He has grown up to be such a good and easygoing baby.  He rarely cries, though he has his moments when he throws little tantrums.  I cannot believe how fast the past year went by.  When I first met Jake, four days after his birth, I was worried that we would not have a strong bond.  But now, our bond could not be stronger.  He is my little best friend.  We go everywhere together.  I love taking him to the store.  My favorite memory is when I went to the zoo with Jake on my 30th birthday.  I did not feel too connected with him in the beginning, probably because he was in the NICU for 10 days while Chris and I were at home.  We visited him twice a day for those ten days and made a promise to not let his birth affect our happiness.  We finally got to take him home on January 16, 2011 and I remember feeling so excited but also scared.  We were on our own as new parents!  But we have come a long way since then.  If you think about it, parenting is 75% common sense and 25% experience.  Being a new parent does not make one an idiot.  If you ask me, I think Chris and I have done a hell of a job with our first son!

This is the end of Jake's birth story and the beginning of many, many more chapters of his life...   

Your First Birthday

Dear Jake,

It is your first birthday!  People don't remember their first birthdays so I thought I would tell you the story of yours.  Your first birthday party happened to take place on your actual birthday, January 7!  The theme of your party was "A Year of Firsts."

So many close friends and family came to celebrate with you today.  On the day before your big day, Mommy and Auntie Lauren baked all the goodies for your party, Grandma came over to help take care of you while Mommy, Daddy, and Auntie Lauren prepared everything: the decorations, party favors, the cupcakes, and your giant cupcake.  On the day of your party, Mommy and Daddy took turns watching you as we set everything up that morning.  Grandma and Grandpa Wells came over to bring your balloons and help take care of you.  Can you believe Grandpa fit 20 balloons in his car?!  Then, Grammie and Opa came and helped with setting up and last minute preparations.  Auntie Wendy and Uncle Paul, cousin Ginger and Ruby arrived early too and they helped with putting up the decorations.  Uncle Oliver picked up the catered Filipino food for your party and Grandpa picked up the salads and sandwiches.  Uncle Joe arrived and helped Mommy with setting up the chairs and gave Mommy a hand with whatever she needed.

Mommy was so thankful for all the help that she had!  She wanted your party to be picture perfect and fun because your birthday is such a special day to Mommy, Daddy, and all of your family and friends!  It was a lot of work, but you are worth all the effort, my son!  Everyone was so happy to celebrate your special day!  Some of our loved ones could not be there but they really, really wanted to be there because they love you so much.  The kids had fun jumping in the bounce house and the adults had a nice time talking.  Even you had a nice time, Jake!  You wanted nothing to do with your giant cupcake that Mommy and Auntie Lauren made for you, and everyone found it funny that you showed such a strong dislike for the sweet, scrumptious thing in front of you.  After the cake, we started saying goodbye to some friends and we gave the kids their party favors, but guess what- Mommy forgot to hand out the cookie party favors that we made!  For the babies' party favors, you shared some of your favorite foods.  At the end of the party, Mommy went in the bounce house with you, and you fell asleep on Mommy in there!  Just like clock work, you napped at around your naptime. 

After everyone left, you, Mommy, and Daddy opened your presents.  You got a lot of new clothes and fun toys to play with!  It was so nice of everyone to give you a gift of some form...we have to make sure to thank them and let them know how much we appreciated it, OK?  On the night of your birthday, Mommy put you to bed and she held you just a while longer after you had fallen asleep.  Mommy felt happy but also a little sad that her little baby Jake is growing up.  But no matter how old you get, you will always be Mama's baby and she will love you forever...    

Happy first birthday, my sweet baby boy.  

Goodbye, Sippy...Hello, Straw!

Eleven months.  In just a few weeks I will be the mother of a ONE year old.  I still remember very vividly the early morning that I went into labor.  For the first several days after I came home from the hospital, I wanted nothing but to go back to that morning and do it all over, the right way...and here we are a year later.  Me - 30, Jake - almost 1.  I am looking forward to giving him whole milk and other dairy products and eggs.  We have been very careful in feeding him up until this point.  Maybe that's a first child thing, but whatever.  He has learned to use a straw and so we have ditched the sippy cup for now.  When he starts drinking cow's milk in a few weeks we'll be ditching the bottle too. 

These days it is very easy to put him to bed.  He used to cry when we put him down in his crib for naps or bedtime but now he does not cry at all, especially at night.  We usually hold him in the rocking chair for a few minutes, then put him in his crib and walk away.  I think his object permanence is starting to develop.  Another new thing that he loves to do is swaying, mostly to music but sometimes not.  The other night as I was getting him ready for bed, I set him down in the crib for a second and I saw him cruise to one side of the crib and started swaying while holding on to the rail.  I realized that he was watching himself dance in the closet mirror.  He sure is a character, just like his daddy!

At 11 months, Jake has cut his molars.  About a month ago he was running a low fever and had a runny nose for a week and just as we suspected, he was teething.  He would wake up at night and whimper but was able to go back to sleep without us having to comfort him.  It got better a few days later and sure enough I felt them protruding through his gums.

I feel like he is growing up so fast.  He is not walking on his own yet but we know that he will when he is ready, just like with everything else.   

8, 9, 10

Finally, some time to blog!  Jake is now 10 months old.  I wanted to blog about all of his milestones but, unfortunately, October was an extremely busy month, with internship applications on top of everything else that is making my life busy...so busy that I had to temporarily drop off the face of the (virtual) earth because every free minute that I had was devoted to internship applications, etc. etc.  (P.S. I am so done with school.).  I'll be honest, I have not had the time to keep up with everyone else's blogs either, so please don't get mad when I ask you something that you blogged about :)

Anyway, here we are...10 months into parenthood.  Jake is doing great and thriving!  At eight months he clapped, crawled, and stood supported.  I think he actually crawled on all fours a few days after my last blog post.  At nine months he learned to wave hello and goodbye.  At ten months, he is cruising along on furniture and the giant glass window in our living room.  He is learning to protest and get his feelings hurt when I sternly say "no."  But gosh he is SO CUTE!  I wish pictures and videos could show just how delicious and delightful he is, but they really don't do him any justice.  So I am glad that I get to be his mom and capture his cuteness and rapid growth with my own eyes every day.  Everyone told me that months 6 to 9 are the best, but I am really, really enjoying my ten-month-old!

I am also getting closer to my 30th birthday so I have been reflecting on that a lot.  I feel so blessed to have accomplished so much before I turned 30...but I will save that for another blog post.

8 months

9 months

10 months

 
   

Grow, Jake, Grow!

Jake is 8 months old today.  His seventh month was just full of growth and it seems like in the blink of an eye he went from a passive infant to an interactive baby who responds to his environment.  He reaches for things and is curious about everything.   He scoots around and is almost crawling on all fours.  When our laptops or cell phones are in front of him on the carpet he will scoot forward and do the worm crawl to get it.  He is able to sit up from lying on his belly.  There have been a couple of mornings when Chris went in to get him and he was just sitting in his crib with a big smile on his face.  When I bathe him I really have to watch him carefully because he grabs on to the edge of his baby tub and stands.  We have already lowered his crib so as to avoid him standing and falling out!

His personality has really developed and he now shows a wide range of emotions, from excited to frustrated.  He babbles and makes all sorts of noises.  When he sees the dog he shows excitement and says something like, "gggg gggg....dggg dggg dggg."  He loves our dog Laila and watches her every move.  In the mornings when we get him from his room he is usually on his tummy, and as soon as we enter the room he'll flap his arms and legs, bury his smiling face in his crib, shakes his head, and look up at us, barely able to contain his excitement.  He says "dadadada" though not discriminately yet (I don't think babies can do that until 8 months or so, can they?)  He makes "gagaga" noises, clicks his tongue, and blows raspberries.  He gives high fives.  Oh and he has seven teeth.

As far as eating and sleeping go we really cannot complain.  He sleeps about 10 hours straight and rarely wakes up in the middle of the night, and when he does he usually goes back to sleep easily.  I still make his food, which I really enjoy.  I had to stop posting all the food I have made for him on this blog because a) it's not a baby food blog, and b) it became too much!  He has moved on to "stage 2" foods, which are coarsely pureed and include fruit and veggie combinations.  He can now eat poultry, which I plan to introduce in the next week.  The kid can chow down 5 to 7 oz of food easily and make 6 oz of formula disappear in less than 5 minutes.  He eats three 4.5 oz meals and gets about 24 oz of formula a day.  I don't know where it all goes because I think he is still pretty small for his age.  But he is happy, healthy, and sleeps well so we must be doing something right.

I can't believe how fast time has gone by!  Gone are the days of breastfeeding and waking at all hours of the night (thank God).  I remember how hard those days were...but I actually kind of miss them.  My baby boy is growing up way too fast and I want to cherish each day because when we put him down at night that's already a day of our lives gone forever. 

Little guy, big game :)  8 months old

Jake's Vacation #2: Palm Desert!

Every summer I go to Palm Desert with my husband and his family.  This year was special because not only was it Jake's first time there but the whole family (except for my brother-in-law Sean) was there.  It was quite a reunion for the Harrison family as Chris' half-brother, Rob, and his family came to make up for lost time...

Chris, Jake and I shared a villa with my sister-in-law Wendy, her husband Paul, and their 2 girls.  It was a blast, but I will say that vacationing with a baby is quite an experience!  Our car was packed with mostly Jake's necessities.  We wanted to keep his routine as normal as possible, meaning eat and nap around the same time, bath before bed, etc.  Jake took some time to adjust to being away from home but still managed to sleep pretty well at night except for the first night.  We took him swimming and down the water slide for the first time!  I think he liked the water...he even took a NAP in the pool (in a floatie) the first day!

To sum up the Harrisons' annual summer trip, each of us took turns hosting dinner each night, the adults played board games after the babies went to bed, and we went to the pool every day.  Jake got to meet some of his relatives for the first time. We made a lot of good memories and are looking forward to next year's trip already.

Click here to view these pictures larger

  

San Diego Classic/Jake's first weekend getaway!

What a fun weekend Jakey and I had!  On Thursday we drove down to San Diego to be with Chris for the annual San Diego Classic (girls basketball) Tournament.  I will admit I was a little nervous about taking Jake on his first trip but he did so well!  On the drive down, he didn't make a peep from La Verne to our hotel in San Diego! 

We had dinner with Julie on Thursday night; did some shopping, watched the girls' game, and had dinner with Brent, Kerri, and baby Eliana Gastineau on Friday; and on Saturday we went to Sea World with Ngoc, Kent and the kids during the day and to the team Family Night at the beach. 

Jake did well as we went out and about and slept well even though he was a little off schedule.  I am so proud of him!  I really hope that Jake being such a good baby does not mean that our next baby will be a terror.  But, we won't worry about that now as that won't be for a couple more years.  I'm just enjoying my baby Jake right now...he is my little best friend.

Hanging out at the hotel

Sea World