Now that I am 34 weeks pregnant with my second child, I think it is finally time to blog about my pregnancy! Haha (?) I always tell myself that I should document everything but, no excuses, I have been more lazy with this one. Not that I don't consider it to be a special time...I do. It's just different with your first pregnancy. I have not taken weekly belly pictures like I did the first time and I have eaten certain foods that I didn't with Jake. Nevertheless, I am very excited to have my second baby boy. This one happened a lot sooner than we had planned and I had just gotten the post-doc position at Cal Poly Pomona in early November so, of course, I was not prepared to have to break the news to my new employer that I was pregnant. Also, I need to complete at least 1500 hours of post-grad experience to get licensed as a psychologist in California and I was worried that I wouldn't get that if I took time off to have my baby. But all things considered, this June is actually the second best time to have our second child because Chris will be home for the summer, work will be very slow for me in the summer since not a lot of students are enrolled, and Jake will be 3 1/2, which I think is the perfect age to have a baby sibling.
We have enjoyed having only Jake so much for the last 3 years that it is hard to imagine what life will be like with two kids. I am still so in love with my first child that I wonder how I could possibly multiply my love and divide my attention? Especially when the first one is so, so sweet and perfect. What 3-year-old kisses his mother's pregnant belly every day or asks to pray with his daddy or mommy at bedtime or says I love you out of the blue? Chris and I feel so blessed to have such a sweetheart for a son. We know he is going to be a good big brother.
As far as my pregnancy, it has been very similar to my first one. I never got morning sickness and my energy level has been pretty much the same as pre-pregnancy. There are a few differences. I think this baby is more active in utero
than Jake was. It will be interesting to see what he is like as he
grows up! I can't wait to see what he looks like. I do feel a lot bigger this time around than I did with Jake, which I know is normal for a second pregnancy. Also with this one, I noticed that I am a bit more emotional. For example, there was one time that I took Jake to preschool and he stood by the gate, said goodbye, and watched me leave. He didn't cry but I could tell he was trying to be a big boy for me. Well, that night I woke up crying because I kept picturing him in my head saying goodbye and trying to be be brave as I left. I told Chris that I couldn't be the one to take him to school anymore because I got too sad. Jake has been going there for 2 years and not once had I cried dropping him off!
I think the biggest difference with this pregnancy and my first one is my approach to labor and delivery. I feel so much more knowledgeable and empowered this time around. With the first one, I pretty much turned myself over to the medical professionals. I didn't know about pain and labor management or that I had options. I promised myself that the next one would be different. I have done my research on VBACs, taken the good childbirth class, and, most importantly, changed my OB-Gyn and hospital. I have learned to dismiss comments from people who know nothing about VBACs and think I am crazy for wanting a natural birth. I figure, they will never know exactly what I went through when I had Jake so they don't know what having this baby vaginally and naturally would mean to me. Is there a chance that I could end up having a repeat C-section? Of course. But until that happens I have to believe that I can do it. So I pray that baby doesn't get too big and that I can manage the contractions. Am I scared or nervous? Of course I am. But I have been through so much worse (like...5 years of grad school!) and survived. I think I can handle a few hours of physical pain, if it means bringing my son into this world the way I think it is meant to be. I am praying that it will be a much better experience than Jake's birth.
We are all looking forward to becoming a family of four in just a few weeks!
