There is No "Me" in Mommy

July 4, 2010

 Today marks the last day of my 1st trimester (12 weeks).  Yesterday we celebrated 4th of July with our good friends down in Mayflower Village.  As Chris and I watched our friends' kids run around in Brent and Kim's backyard, we couldn't help but get excited over the fact that 1 year from now we will have a 6 month old!  As much as I am looking forward to being a mommy, I couldn't help but think that as America celebrated its freedom yesterday, I may have just celebrated my last 4th of July as a "free" woman because after January 2011 my freedom will most definitely be limited.  Even now I am learning that all the choices I make no longer involve just me: the foods I eat, the activities I engage in, even the clothes I am eventually going to wear.  Let me further illustrate my point.

This morning I met with my supervisor for next year's practicum (part-time internship) at Aurora Behavioral Health - Charter Oak Hospital to discuss how my pregnancy will affect my work.  Thankfully, he is very easygoing and accommodating.  He is willing to give me the time off that I need, work around my schedule, and put me in the unit with the less "risky" patients.  A part of me felt relieved but the selfish part of me felt disappointed that I will miss out on working with the more psychotic patients.  My point?  It is not just about me anymore.  I have to think about my baby's safety and health.

After my meeting, I went to Sport Chalet to buy a one-piece bathing suit that I can work out/swim in.  I tried one on that fit well...for now, but who knows how big my belly will be in a few months?  I walked out of the store with nothing but a pair of goggles.  The point?  It is not just about me anymore.  When it comes to clothing, I have to think of comfort and make room for the growing baby inside me.

While pregnancy and motherhood involve giving up some freedom and certain rights (i.e., the right to sleep as long as I want), I cannot deny that it is one of the most amazing and selfless experiences that a woman can have.  The fact that I have a little person growing inside my body, with a little heartbeat, is miraculous in and of itself!